Random Thoughts Today

20110715-071118.jpgThere’s a lot of water under these bridges and I’m not sure I can swim.

How does a rape survivor heal when she’s forced to 1. send her child to stay overnight with her rapist every week and 2. because of that has to see her rapist every week and the next girl in line for abuse from said rapist?

It is not normal to find myself thinking it would hurt less, or at least differently, if I cut just a little on my arm or leg; it would at least be something under my control. And wondering what kind of patterns blood might make in the water… Not sure which aspect was more appealing…

It is most definitely not normal to wonder if the only reason you’re thinking about law school is that it would take you at least 2000 miles away from the rapist. (I mean, seriously, law school is a HUGE investment in time and money and it’s something I’ve thought about since undergrad. I’m pretty sure it’s not just because I want to get a way from Sam, but then that stupid little voice whispers “but…”….)

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