The name that I use in my blog for my abuser is changed to protect the abusive – how appropriate. That’s what I did for him for years: protect him from the consequences of his drinking, or from looking bad in front of our families or friends, or covering for him when he’d had too many – “Sam’s sick,” invariably meant Sam had started drinking early and was passed out on the couch already.
Sam has never been convicted for raping me or on charges of domestic abuse – I never filed – never knew I could, he was my husband. I’d never had another husband to compare his behavior to; this was “normal” for me. Now that I know I could have, too long has passed and there is no proof. He has, however, admitted to a couple specific acts and then denied everything in generalities in a court setting.
For that matter, the names of friends, family, co-workers, pets, and even some locations, will be changed to protect the innocent.
I’m afraid he’ll find my blog and I’m terrified it will make him mad. I don’t think he’d see himself in my writing and with the names of friends and family changed, hopefully he won’t see us. I don’t want to let fear of him keep me from letting this all out.
List of Players
- Michelle – me, the amazed Survivor
- Max – the most amazing, active, sweetest little boy ever, our son
- Serenity – Our (Max and my) cat, who thinks he’s a dog
- Sam – the abusive, alcoholic ex-husband, father to Max
- Ingrid – the new enabler, Sam’s current means of escaping responsibility and offering manipulation (future victim of Sam’s abuse, most likely)
- Sam, Sr. – Sam’s father, sweet 80+ year old man (who thinks alcoholics can just stop drinking and who appears to be oblivious to Sam’s abuse tactics)
- Francine – Sam’s sister and one of Sam’s (past?) enablers, she tries to (used to?) jump in to save his bacon from the fire